Atonement Contract

I don't even know what masturbation is
but I know I've done it
the sin next to the sin next to murder

when I spray semen, Christ sprays blood
his pain enables my pleasure

do I feel guilty?
deeply

like water into wine
this contract
turns shame into sweet

I press and stir the bleeding grapes

sin - shame - repentance - forgiveness - relief

It's not the sin I love
but the repentance
the words more precious than
I love you:

      you are forgiven

And now the prophetic fine print:

      you are paid for
      and purchased