Dead Photo

at 11:31 pm she sends
an old photo

I'm smiling with tension
folded arms
reserved eyes

    “I was going through photos
    and came upon this photo.
    I thought you might like having it.”

she sent the original
uncropped version
eighteen months ago

the day after I came out
saying it was

    “a favorite”

she sends it again
for her
not me

I bring up photos
from last night's
90s dance party

my eyes are relaxed
soft
calm
smiling
even when not smiling

I don't know what she sees
in the old photo

may it rest
may it find peace

for I am now
resting in peace