Exchange

lately
our son wishes
time would never stop

blocking the door out
holding onto my leg
telling me no

I desire these transitions
be happy times too

an hour before she will come
I start prepping him

would you like to
make a craft for your older brothers?

no!

we could make a treat for them

I don't want to go

the scent of unmade cookies
the silent sound of the unused timer

ringing strongly

time’s up

as he transfers
from my arms to hers
he calls out for me

I desire these transitions
be happy times too

ten minutes later
and not time enough
for her drive home

my phone chimes

the text reads

    said he was sad
    because he wanted to keep watching
    the AJ and Blaze monster truck show

In my head I frantically write a reply
working to undo the narrative she's forming

we watched that
four hours ago

I've spent the last hour
trying to help him transition

my heart catches my thoughts
slowing me down

no reply is needed
the center assures

she sent the text not
for a happier exchange

but because she is

losing control