Not Mom Not Sir But

for me
gender transition
resolves how off I’ve felt since childhood

for them
it feels off

we are seeing the same event
but from different parts of the room

without knowing it
my transition began twelve years ago
when I started dismantling
religion—then patriarchy

my family did not follow

as I removed bricks
they added steel, mortar, granite—
a bunker for their fears

I recently rented an apartment
a step toward divorce

inside their bunker
gender is fixed
a revelation from god
to doctor

inside my apartment
gender is felt
you don’t need god or doctor
to point out your pain

to them
I am not mom
I am not dad

I am
a monster