On Estrogen

estrogen was enough
to feminise my flow

I practiced years of meditation
with a mind full of testosterone

watching the chatter—
a second self
interjecting

estrogen has made that self silent
leaving just me

when I close my eyes
the colorless dark patterns
stay fixed in place
no longer swirling

my orgasm is mine
approaching with softness
without a destination
content to wait

and when ready
lifts my whole body

into—
present peace
and ecstatic excitement