The Inherited Rocking Chair
he sits generations of dust mix as he rocks parents smile placing their children upon his lap his sagging breasts suckling all ages rhythmic rocking keeping them soothed while the wood creaks out music
Latest
The Devil Made Me Do It
a friend recounting her childhood trauma closes with a familiar scripture they didn't know any better the author of sin smiles these words keep him safe our heavenly father he gives us fear he gives us shame the trauma giver obeys the Father forever turning the children to
Exchange
lately our son wishes time would never stop blocking the door out holding onto my leg telling me no I desire these transitions be happy times too an hour before she will come I start prepping him would you like to make a craft for your older brothers? no! we
the Strait and Narrow
efficiency profitability conformity
Miss Gender
the body I have the body I work with I mirror what's inside to be recognized I take pills I pluck hair I wear accessories I have chest and hip growth I endure surgery after deliberate effort I enter your office flower patterned crop top deep red lipstick
Great Corpse
I swim where it bites my family atop the back joined by a mass of people each person holding a rope ropes twisted in knots leading to the head the people pull the ropes steering the ancient relic wrought using the swords rusted by oxygen rich blood endless iron bones
Wanted Woman
I've stopped being what I imagine my family wants me to be now they hunt me I'm a transgender mother with a three-year-old son it's not safe a shadow of doubt is stronger than facts truer than truth DCFS waits at my door the
After Living
why must I visit the graveyard so often the place my nightmares live headstones in crooked rows marking the soil where my hope bleeds I visit in pain I visit in regret I visit in slow retrace why do I keep coming back? what do I want to find? the
Object Lesson
reduced to an object because I'm a girl a board a rose some gum a cupcake something for others to consume to manipulate to display to value an adornment for the priesthood from youth to wife to death bed dangling purity at the arms of men
Everything In Place
during heavy work the place at which you rest becomes deeper softer contrast makes this home arriving at the end of yellow tangled yarn a nest contained by the mess
No Blood
my friend was cut by finger eyes she wasn't even ten a knife leaves blood a trace of believability blood brings healing she didn't bleed a closed up cut left to swim in her heart it's been twenty years new fingers cut others she
Flies
a woman's sexual purity is a garbage dump for patriarchy an uncontrolled mind seeks control I don't like my sins so I seek someplace to put them the boneless hand opens words swarm like flies: here is a woman made to carry your burden if you
Sanctified Dust
What was she wearing?
hold an object a blue smooth marble rolling in your palm slightly cool bounds and limits a container movement direction shape size governed by physics a reduction outward measurements as you look a woman walks towards you she asks a question what does it matter? object person
Sanctified Dust
Harpman
I don't know why I'm a trans woman I Who Have Never Known Men a prisoner in my body transitioning allows me sunlight and like in the book my prison follows me answers aren't real knowledge reveals more questions so I keep seeking I
Being Her
She
an email blind copied sent to my ex and myself the contents simple from the person arranging parent-time exchanges recently, I’ve been consuming legal documents which either misgender me or sidestep pronouns so when the email came I expected the same I wasn't prepared for the flood
Love Unwoven
Flower Garden
she planted weeds in my mind and now waters them when we exchange I can't just walk away we co-parent a three-year-old she waters with silence she waters with looks she waters with contempt after fresh water the roots worm down biting a painful path I'm
Nightmind
Theories
does knowing how help cope with what is? replaying a tragedy looking for clues searching the moment under the dim moonlight pain comes in cycles no relief even when relieved knowing it will come again pain doesn't answer to answers
Nightmind
Aftermath
I hate my body the naked stage spotlights illuminating audience watching a stage built from whatever was around no gold leaf no elaborate carvings no permits no planning the choice of others an ejaculation now I drip
Nightmind
Spiral-bound
it's 2 pm I’ve been trying to make lunch when I open the fridge I rapidly close it as if I saw something move or hear footsteps spinning around I look for an escape there is none I'm physically in the kitchen but my mind
Love Unwoven
The Way, The Truth
being transgender is emotional abuse I perpetrate onto my family they are grateful for the financial support other than that I abuse them shall I go in or out? if I go out they get a million-dollar payout the house the business the final word if I go in I
Nightmind
Flower Life Jacket
will I renew my medical cannabis card when it expires despite not using cannabis in many months yes I feel the benefit every day knowing if things get too hard I can return to that sanctuary having something certain while sitting deep in uncertainty is the difference between having a
Sanctified Dust
Not Mom Not Sir But
for me gender transition resolves how off I’ve felt since childhood for them it feels off we are seeing the same event but from different parts of the room without knowing it my transition began twelve years ago when I started dismantling religion—then patriarchy my family did not
Being Her
Wet Pussy Tears
no orgasm achieved no climax reached having a penis for 49 years now it's gone surgically replaced with a vulva I care for it daily keeping it clean watching for proper healing I stretch the scarred tissue gently massage the swelling soak it in warm bath water like
Love Unwoven
Open Endings
I crossed the marked date surgery was a success healing is progressing relieved to have the body part gone the relationship ending I love what is new but it doesn't feel mine in the way the old did I had a system to deal with the old a