Being Her

Tucking

not me but attached to me part of me but not me some say it defines me If it’s here I’ll at least keep it tucked

Being Her

Getting Ready

I did my eyes put on lipstick curled my hair slipped into my black dress patterned with pink and green mid-summer branches beauty layered on beauty have I done it? I check the mirror the man in my head laughs snickers pounding he yells YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS! voices a procession

Being Her

Home

I was a child, I was home my sister and her friends playing made up things more real than reality you can hold a book you cannot hold a word crawling under the large pine tree we entered our house our school room our little shop goofing off for hours

Being Her

Dysphoria

a gluey shadow slowly hugs me tightly wrapping arms around my head twisting fingers down my ears echoing a haunting lullaby words sucking on my soul eyes dribble wet from a wrung-out mind

The Edge of Circles

Gifts

we gave each other a gift today my cisgender friend and I despite my struggle to stand fully in my womanhood something in me helped her find her own knowing I gave her that she gave it back my womanhood

Nightmind

Sleep

a hen died today when is it my turn to rot what does a body feel when worms wonder nothing? something? laughter? lightness? who is rotting me, or the hen?

Love Unwoven

New Patterns

I'm unfamiliar with this place reaffirming my boundary while she works to break it down in the past one guilt-loaded word easily let her cross now I stand, but shiver I reinforce, but fear my boundary a glass net of open vulnerability

Sanctified Dust

Spiritual Staircase

take the spiral staircase to heaven with steps clearly marked sin - guilt - repent a triad of colors red then blue then white the going is easy the burden is lite take steps daily hourly skipping steps is okay we encourage you to repent for sins not committed the

Being Her

Blue Suit

I saw a man today in a soft blue suit he glowed in a radiant texture I never did glow like that now I wear skirts and dresses I glow

The Edge of Circles

Nose Piercing

the first reclined in a chair a dot placed on her nose the second holds a needle in her hand the target is the dot the third gently holds the hand of the dotted woman as impact nears the needled woman speaks breathe in all three breathe in all three

The Edge of Circles

Friends

when my eyes meet yours the light reflecting between us two mirrors facing I’m blinded by your beauty! it’s penetrating. it lingers, when you are gone in fact, it never leaves it grows in the soil of my soul you are in my garden

Being Her

Girls

I was a little girl when patriarchy told me to be a boy       girls obey like a precision cookie cutter the role is well defined       girls conform I read the script played the role and put the costume on       girls are invisible I loved the patriarchy I knew no other